Following God's Call

This past year, I went on a 9-month journey around the world to share the Good News of Jesus where my relationship with the Lord became alive again. Coming straight out of high school, I had social, academic and performance pressures that intertwined with my relationship with the Lord.

When the Lord encountered me at age 12 during my darkest moment after losing myself in various sexual temptations on the internet, he completely changed me and called me. Following my initial encounter by the Holy Spirit, I grew into a love for the Lord that helped me walk into assurance of my faith, security in my identity and positive curiosity for Jesus, the one who had redeemed me.

As I matured in my knowledge of God, however, I submitted to a lawfulness. This placed pressure on myself to live up to the Christian life I believed the Lord had for me. While that was the stage the Lord indeed wanted me to walk through, He did not want me to stay there.

At training camp, I was bombarded with lightness, carefree joy, and life-filled young people who simply loved the Lord. That was new. I then had to figure out why it felt so easy to come to the Lord.

I soon realized through worship nights, conversations and my own rebaptism that my love for the Lord and His commands was not the main point. The main point is actually that God loves me.

In every fathomable way, God loves me.

It is from that point that all blessings flow. That all service flows. That all obedience and reverence flows. Throughout my World Race trip, the Lord walked me through the significance and specific implications of His love for me.

He showed me how He loves me as His daughter. He then revealed that He loves me like a groom loves His beautiful bride. Then He held my hand and showed me how he loved me as a relentless lover loves His captivating Beloved.

It took all the repetitions and assurances of His love for me to finally realize that His love is all I need. I still need Him to assure me of this.

By the final country, I had been so lavished with love from the Lord in every intimate way that He then saw my heart was ready for a task. He saw that I allowed my heart to be filled and that I could finally serve Him from an overflow of love from Him rather than a dribble of my own love for Him.